We Can Do It And I Am Gonna Figure Out How!

So I thought that the day after Christmas, I would write a very fluffy piece about the importance of family and the ones that you love but... NOPE!

Ladies! I am pissed off!

Tiger Woods has over 14 women that have come forward with pretty substantial evidence that he did indeed cheat on his wife. He then released the following two statements:

"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

"After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person."

Chris Brown beat the crap out of Rhianna and issued the following statement (this is my blog, and I am not going to use "pc" verbiage) :

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person."

Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day for a domestic dispute with his wife that resulted in her calling the police. His lawyer released the following statement:

"I think at the end of the day it will be much ado about nothing," he told the Associated Press. "I don't think there's any criminality about what went on. The February court date may be to determine whether a case goes forward or not."

Much ado about nothing?
I think it is safe to say that this, "much ado about nothing" is not how Charlie's wife Brooke felt when she placed the 911 call or how she will feel knowing that the father or her 8 month old twins Max and Bob was in the "slammer" for "Babies' First Christmas!

LADIES! We have got to do something! We have a voice and we need to stand up for ourselves. We deserve more than this! What can we do as a gender to band together and let people know that this kind of behavior by men in the public eye is indeed wrong and frowned upon. When a person commits a crime such as murder, rape or burglary they are tried and judged by a jury of their peers. It is documented and becomes public record. Why are things such as domestic abuse and infidelity accepted just because someone can play a sport, sing or act!

LADIES? What can we do to make this NOT ok? Should we stop purchasing music written by Chris Brown, refuse to play golf or invest in any of NIKE's women golf line or stop watching Two and 1/2 Men on CBS? Would anyone care? Of course they would if there were enough of us in number!

At some point in history women became upset because they were not allowed to vote. In 1776, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband John, to "remember the ladies" when writing the Declaration of Independence. He responded with humor and the Declaration's wording specifies that "all men are created equal". It was not until August 26, 1920 that women were allowed to vote. It did not happen overnight. It took over 144 years of gathering together for one cause. Many entrepreneurial women who created groups, clubs, meetings, luncheons and parties (lets face it, we get a ton done when entertaining is involved!)!

We can do this! We can let young women, our daughters and granddaughters know that the standard that has been set so far is not RIGHT or OK! We need to change how society views the following transgressions:

Domestic Violence
Abuse both emotional and physical
Infidelity

LADIES...WOMEN...GIRLS
We need to find our voice on these issues. We have a ton of organizations that promote the education of the above issues but where are the group of women who just can't stand the fact that anything about those issues are accepted by modern society. We have websites, facebook, myspace and a ton of other media outlets that will allow us to get the word out! So, I'm pretty sure that we can set our sites on anything less than 144 years!

I want to end this blog with the statement issued by Jenny Sanford, the wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford who had an affair with his mistress in Argentina. Jenny protected his position in office and the dignity of their sons and the love they once had until all was revealed by the press. Here is her statement:

"I would like to start by saying I love my husband and I believe I have put forth every effort possible to be the best wife I can be during our almost twenty years of marriage. As well, for the last fifteen years my husband has been fully engaged in public service to the citizens and taxpayers of this state and I have faithfully supported him in those efforts to the best of my ability. I have been and remain proud of his accomplishments and his service to this state.

I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged. Instead, the greatest legacy I will leave in this world is the character of the children I, or we, leave behind. It is for that reason that I deeply regret the recent actions of my husband Mark, and their potential damage to our children.

I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband's infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.

This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.

I believe enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a marriage to be successful, that commitment must be reciprocal. I believe Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.

Psalm 127 states that sons are a gift from the Lord and children a reward from Him. I will continue to pour my energy into raising our sons to be honorable young men. I remain willing to forgive Mark completely for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance.

This is a very painful time for us and I would humbly request now that members of the media respect the privacy of my boys and me as we struggle together to continue on with our lives and as I seek the wisdom of Solomon, the strength and patience of Job and the grace of God in helping to heal my family."

Cheers to you Jenny and may I suggest that you call Charlie Sheen and give him some pointers on the well rehearsed speech I am sure he will issue in the next few days.

Schmuck!

A Letter For My Meg

My Meg,

For the first time I will not have the joy of watching my loved ones face light up when they open the perfect gift from me. And for the first time I care about one of the people I get to spend my Christmas with more than I do what may or may not be under the tree. Instead of anticipating a gift, I am anxiously awaiting Christmas morning (right now) when I roll over and see your beautiful smile and you tell me you love me and say, "Merry Christmas Bubbers!" To me that is what this time of year is all about. It's all about the people that matter most in your life, and you matter most in mine.

I may not have been able to buy gifts, and spoil you with material goods for you to brag about to your friends at work, but I can be me, and be the man that you love. I love you more than you will ever know, and as much as it killed me with this Christmas to not shower you with gifts, it has made me realize just how much we are in love, and I could not ask for anything else. You're my everything. Merry Christmas My Meg...

Love Your,
Bubs

Auntie Stace Knows Best

Everything in life seems to be measured
wins and losses
risks taken and opportunities passed up
successes and failures

About a month ago, I was told
"Megan, you have never failed, you have lived and had experiences"

In that I find comfort,
Thank you
Auntie Stace
I love you.

My Prince

When I was a little girl and I dreamed of my prince charming; he was tall, dark, handsome and rode in on a white horse. He kissed me awake, magically had the perfect glass slipper that fit and he rescued me from all things horrible.

Today, he is my best friend who snuggled me awake and then tempted me out of my warm bed with a venti non-fat peppermint mocha with whip and a cinnamon scone.

He is the man who came home from running errands ecstatic because he found a sledding hill where we could rent tubes and sled until our hearts delight.

He is the man who made sure I was bundled in appropriate snow gear and then threw together an outfit so silly and impractical that I laughed all the way to the hill.

He holds my hand and then runs up the snow hill, zig zagging back and worth to make sure he "gets a workout in".

He is the man that looks at me like I am People Magazine's "Sexiest Woman of 2009" while I sing and dance my way through 7 layer Christmas cookies, country music blaring in the kitchen as he tries to watch the Blackhawks game.

He shimmies and shakes his hips to entertain me while I stir the fudge for 5 minutes.

I giggle, we dance, drink our favorite Two Bros Beer and I think to myself that life might not get much better than this moment in my kitchen with my prince who is now stirring his own pot of fudge with a face covered in marshmallow fluff.

I love you Timothy Michael Colin
Thank you for being my prince.

According To You & According To Him

According to you
I was stupid,
useless,
I couldn't do anything right.
According to you
I was difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I was a mess in a dress,
I couldn't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.



But according to him 
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him 
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite, 
He's into me for everything I'm not

According to you
I was boring,
moody,
you couldn't take me any place.
According to you
I sucked at telling jokes cause I always gave it away.
I was the girl with the worst attention span;
you were the boy who put up with it. 
According to you.
According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him 
I'm funny,
irresistible, 
everything he ever wanted. 
Everything is opposite,
He's into me for everything I'm not, 

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated.  

According to me
you're stupid, 
you're useless, 
you can't do anything right. 

But according to him 
I'm beautiful,
incredible, 
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him 
I'm funny, 
irresistible, 
everything he ever wanted.

Tigers Roar Sounds Like A Whine To Me

Tiger Woods... I have a problem with you.

My boyfriend is a fanatic about Tiger Woods. I am convinced that if he ever got the chance to meet Tiger or play a round of golf with him, his behavior would be compared to those 13 year old Twilight fans that are "Team Edward". Since the Tiger Woods scandal has broken he is Tiger's fiercest protector. He is adamant that Tiger deserves his "privacy" to deal with these very private family matters.

I on the other hand disagree. Tiger, here is my beef with you.

To me, it is not that you cheated on your wife, although that in of itself disgusts me and now makes me never want to play Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10 again, it is that you have made your living not by being just a GREAT golfer but by endorsements such as NIKE, Wheaties, American Express and Titlist to just name a fee.

If Tiger had just stuck to golf and earned a living off of his winnings then I would be ok with him wanting privacy. But, Tiger you made $40 million dollars off NIKE alone. You did advertisements, commercials and wore apparel that represented the companies of our culture and population. You made golf "cool" to a younger generation of people who only associated it with their grandparents and Sunday afternoons. Most of us in our early 20's and 30's think that Tiger is pretty much the only person who plays golf. You made your millions off of consumers buying the products that you endorsed. Granted, you only got offered these contracts because you were a GREAT golfer, but you could have said NO when NIKE offered up the swoosh.

The consumers are the ones who paid for that gorgeous house in Florida that you are hiding in and also that Escalade that you smashed. You chose to live in the limelight when you put your first NIKE baseball cap on. So, don't get mad at us for not letting your family deal "privately" with your indiscretions. We want to know what the HELL you were thinking? You had everything; a golf career envied by all the champions, endorsement deals paying for all your high end living, a model gorgeous wife and two beautiful children. You made your bed when you became the NIKE golf swoosh so don't get upset at us just because we found out that you had other women besides your wife laying in it and want to know why.

Tiger, here is some advice from one of PEOPLE magazine's Sexiest Men Alive, Tim McGraw:

Women don't
want sexy
they want cool
But cool is sexy
aint't that the rule

Women don't want sexy
they want strong
but strong is sexy
all day long

Women don't want
sexy, they want
love and love is
sexy more than enough

Me...I don't want
to be sexy

I just wanna live life,

Growing old with
my sexy wife

Give A Little Whistle

On Friday, my integrity was questioned. It was challenged in such a way that as soon as the sentence was out of the person's mouth, I saw red. We have all experienced this. All of a sudden, everything is in slow motion, your body instantly gets flushed and you feel your heart get hot. It happened and I did not react in such a way that put my personality or my professionalism in the best light.

But dammit! That was my integrity and to me, that means you challenged my heart. We design our reality by our choices, moment to moment, creating and maintaining a standard by following our conscience and acting for the highest good.

When I was growing up, Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio was my first introduction to having a conscience or integrity. "Always let your conscience be your guide", seemed like the best road map to follow.

I remember, as I got older having discussions with both my parents about listening to the little voice in your heart that will always tell you the right thing to do. For some reason, the idea of having someone in your heart who knew the right thing to do seemed so comforting.

So why is it, that we continue to sometimes stray from that path that our conscience is guiding us on? Why do we have a tendency to do anything, say anything and act in such a way that muffles the voice in our heart?

I'm not talking about the BIG things. Things that we know are BAD. I consider myself a "good" person. I am faithful and have never cheated on a partner (sometimes I use a cute smile to get a membership here and there), I am loyal to a fault (but it takes a lot to get to that point with me), I try not to lie (maybe white ones or lies of omission), I don't break laws (except speeding) and I currently do not have a criminal record (Except for a MIP that involved Zima, Lake Shasta and a Pink Bikini)

That last paragraph explains the problem... It is the parenthesis ( ) in life. On Friday when my integrity was challenged, that person was WRONG, but I realized that it might be the if, ands and buts throughout life that I might need to work on.

It is the little things
Like, calling someone when you say you are going to call. Showing up on time for my personal training session because Brad's time is valuable (even if it is 630 in the morning). Taking the time to look up in the hallways at work and say "hello" to everyone I make eye contact with. Tell the truth, even about the little things that have become second nature to omit or fib a little. If you work on the little things then the BIG things should never be challenged.

To me, my integrity is my heart.
How comforting it is to think that your heart itself tells you what to do.
And when all else fails...

Listen to Jimeny Cricket:
When you get in trouble
and you don't know right from wrong
give a little whistle, give a little whistle

When you meet temptation
and the urge is very strong
give a little whistle, give a little whistle

Not just a little squeak, pucker up and blow
and if you're whistle is weak, yell

Take the strait and narrow path
and if you start to slide
give a little whistle, give a little whistle
and always let your conscience be your guide

A Deep Breath

Sometimes the paths that we so carefully map out for ourselves is not the path that we are supposed to take.

I am a first born child who had forever done everything by the book. I graduated from high school with good grades qualifying me for an academic scholarship to my local state college in Oregon. I studied business and fell in love with my first serious boyfriend my sophomore year. I graduated in four years with a business and entrepreneurial degree. I began my career and eagerly awaited a marriage proposal which came three months after my june commencement. I said "yes" and we began carefully planning our life. One year engagement followed by a gorgeous wedding and me in my beautiful white dress.

We signed the loan papers for our first home on our 1 year anniversary. We made smart investments, we had the home, the investment property and the boat. We built a life in a small Oregon community. We were "that couple". We were constantly one step ahead of ourselves planning for our future. Next we are going to do this, next year we will do this, our 5 year plan is this.

Then it happened... We had looked so far into the future that we forgot about today, now, this moment. He changed and I changed. We divorced.

There it was, my first failure. I had failed at my marriage.Who was "Megan"? The only person that I knew how to be was part of a couple. All of a sudden my life was upside down...
And then it was in fast forward

I purchased a business for $2.00. A salon in my small town. I took something that was neglected and yet had such potential. I invested in this crazy notion which was ridiculous because at the time I was a fashion victim with horrible hair and even less fashion sense. Tease Boutique and Salon was born. As out of my element as I was, I had found a project to keep my mind off of the things that were going on in my life. Working on this numbed me and kept me moving very fast. Moving fast was the only way to survive because when you stop... then you feel... and then... you think.

Anyone who works in a spa or salon will tell you that it is pure drama or"spama". These women are loud and crazy! They are beautiful and confident and they will tell you just what they think. They are always up for trying new things and they are constantly evolving. They are catty, outrageous and overall hysterical. They had my back when I needed it the most and they slowly began peeling away the layers of the "married" person that I had begun. Slowly "Megan" began to peek through. Within four months one salon location quickly became three as we partnered with another successful company.

And I kept moving fast....
My best friend and I finally launched Loyaltee, a women's athletic apparel company. This company was my heart, soul and passion all wrapped into one. All of my designs required me to find this creative, ambitious and soulful side of myself. We went on quite the ride. We were very successful in a very QUICK amount of time. We were featured in magazines, newspapers, radio and TV. Then in a blink of an eye and a few very desperate months. It was gone.

The economy had slumped and both of my very new companies began to feel the effects. We were at the point where a business loan would have been needed to sustain such forward growth and motion because all personal funds had been tapped out and depleted. In one year I had felt failure, success and then rock bottom.

There it was my second failure only squared. Two businesses. Successful in their own right but unable to withstand the test of the economy. I was broken and desperate to keep moving fast and forward.

I began to feel the walls of my small community closing in on me. There was too many people talking in my ear. I was having a hard time finding myself and listening to my heart with so much white noise in my life.

I needed something different. I sold my pride and joy. A 1967 mustang that I had restored with my best friend. I built her with my own hands and she will forever be special to me. She was my first sign of independence in my marriage and the only thing I requested in the divorce. Driving that car with the windows down on a sunny Oregon day will always be my "happy place". She was my freedom and selling her would be my ticket to my new life adventure. I obtained a job in Chicago. The only possessions I brought with me was what I could pack in my VW jetta. I set out on my drive from Oregon to Illinois. 2100 miles, just me, my GPS and my ipod. I thought a ton.. about all kinds of things. I cried... I laughed... I sang at the top of my lungs.

But, for the first time, it was quiet. I was forced to sit still for 2100 miles. Life in fast forward was not an option. Because no matter how hard I tried, getting to Chicago was going to take as long as it was going to take.

I have now lived in Chicago for a year.
I have been homesick, I have missed loved ones and I have experienced a Midwest winter (Brrrrr).
I have discovered myself. When it is quiet, when the only thing that I hear is my heart. I am taking things slow because when I rush and live in fast forward, I forget to breathe.

I have fallen in love with a man who makes me believe that knights in shining armor and prince charmings really do exist. He is my biggest fan and best friend. He makes me feel beautiful because when he looks at me I see my true reflection in his eyes. His eyes light up when he sees me and my heart skips a beat in response.

I have fallen in love with myself. I have failed. One marriage, two businesses and I am in a huge amount of debt because of those risks. But, through it all I have learned... I have had the courage to live and I have had the strength to get back up when I was knocked down.

So don't worry so much about the future or planning. Just have the courage to live. I spent so much time looking forward that I forgot to actually see. To live in the "moment". To take the time to just sit still and listen. To experience the "now".

Because right now. I'm happy in the moment.